Of Assassins and Spiritual Discovery 10/05/2010

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Who is Matus? I thought I’d spend a moment discussing a bit about my friend Matus. I do not believe that any one person can truly be defined in a lump sum of words or scribbles on parchment. But I will do my best to capture some of what makes up the illusive, if somewhat rude and arrogant, Matus.

Hmmm… we might as well start from the beginning. 

I first met Matus when I was very young, when my eyes were bright and my skin freckled with sunlight. He was but an infant, not a toddler or child, but an infant. He was brought to the monastery by one of the traveling priestess, her name escapes me now, but the details as to how she acquired the child is unknown even to Matus. Many children came to the monastery. Some were sent by parents who could not afford to raise them on their meager wages in Canthan society, presuming they had enough money to even send their children to Shing Jea Island that is. Others were orphans and a select few were actually sent with the intent of apprenticing to be monks, priests, soothsayers, and religious mentors.

Matus I suspect was simply abandoned by his family. His parents were likely very poor and as Matus was born without his sight he likely was considered to be more of a burden. It is an unpleasant thought to imagining a parent abandoning their child… then again I’m not one to talk, but that is another story for another entry.

I was charged with helping watch him, among other children from time to time, not that I was more than a child myself. But Matus always seemed to stick out. Despite being blind he proved to be very dexterous and had a sort of sixth sense about things. He claims that he can read things based on sounds but I believe that the spirits help guide him. Often times children raised in the monastery, regardless of their future professions, tend to have an affinity with spirits. Matus would and has greatly argued against my point of view, but our perspectives of the world have always been very different.

My relationship with Matus met its highest level when I began training my spiritual site. The training required me to spend a minimum of one year without the use of my eyes. Often times a “ritualist,” as ignorant farmers often refer to members of my order, most cover his or her eyes with fabrics and ointment to achieve a stronger spiritual connection. This process helps us develop out “third eye” if you will. During this training however my eyes were actually sewn shut, in an effort to enhance my experiences.

I traveled to the Jaya Bluffs to explore the wilds with the spirits as my only guide, seeing not this world of Tyria but instead lands of elements and emotions.  It is a difficult experience to describe (mem. Try and discuss the nature of the spirit sight further in another entry.) but what is important to this tale is that Matus, at the same time I was training, was also training on the mountains. He trained in the arts of stealth and assassination. He would train for months honing his hunting skills in the mountains, training his body and mind in the frigid elements.

I followed the voices to his training place and while I imagine he attempted to kill me at first, he must have recognized my scent or sensed my familiar presence in some way. While our training led us on different paths we often returned to the same camp site at night. Spending the nights talking, mostly I talked, and finding a way to break the monotony of our training. We might have been breaking some sort of rules but the spirits brought me to him for a reason.  One thing I greatly appreciated was that he would bring back his kills for us to feast upon. I was forbidden to ingest any sustenance not provided by the spirits, but as the spirits had led me to Matus I had a nice little loop hole that allowed me to eat what he provided. So many of my sisters returned from this journey sickly thin and weak, fortunately I would not have to suffer such a fate.

His training ended long before mine did but he seemed to linger, perhaps he did this to be nice to me but I think he thought with sentiments other than his compassion. There were a few nights where we did indulge in each other’s presence to keep warm but it was nothing more than a superficial comfort. Another of the many things we no longer speak of…

Throughout the course of our training we developed a certain bond that has lasted our entire lives. It is a sort of peculiar friendship I suppose. He is in my heart but we almost constantly bicker over the smallest of things. A select handful of our arguments have ended in partially carried through death threats… But on the whole I still enjoy his company and I would assume the vice versa is true.

*Reading this again I suppose I didn’t describe Matus so much as I did our incomplete past. Oh well I will do a number of entries on him in the future I am certain.

 

The Frozen Sea 09/29/2010

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I was awash in a sea of stone.
It is hard to describe the time I spent with Melantha and Matus during our excursion over the past several months. I had journeyed to the Jade Sea prior to this of course, but never for such an extended period and never have I traveled so deep into its frozen waves.  We wandered the waters for months and we made many discoveries, both personal and explorative. I could not describe all of these events during any one sitting, nor do I wish to, but I imagine I shall write on this voyage, as it was, a number of times. If for no other reason than to look back upon the memories fondly, or in some cases regrettably…
 
When we first entered the frozen tides I was once again taken aback by the beauty and sheer scale of it all. It is difficult to describe the sensation that one feels when witnessing a great sea ravaged by storm and yet frozen in time. The only comparable event in my lifetime would be when I witnessed a fellow priestess give birth; a sort of torment that leads to a calm euphoric serenity. Perhaps that isn’t the metaphor that my companions would have used, least of all Matty, but it is what I was reminded of upon recollection. For several days we simply wandered through the beginnings of the massive maze of frozen waves and suspended sea life.
 
At several points I found myself simply standing and marveling at the theatrical scenes frozen in the stone before me. Elaborate battles between sea serpents and their prey, schools of fish simply trying to out maneuver what they perceived to be a simple storm, and sadly the occasional dead body (or perhaps perpetually undead body) of an unlucky Canthan who was flung from his ship before the waters became stone. Matus didn’t seem to share my enthusiasm for these sites… being blind can put such a damper on the world’s visual appeal I suppose. (mem. Write a passage or two about Matus, The Blind Assassin) Melantha, however, did seem to share some of my fascinations and we spent many nights laying our backs upon the jade counting fish as well as stars.
 
Of the many nights I spent upon the jade waters I enjoyed the night I spent on a half sunken boat the most. We stumbled upon the structure during our first month half buried in the jade, and spent the better part of a day exploring the ships still accessible compartments. When night fell we decided to use the structure as a shelter against an oncoming storm.
 
We had expected rain, but in the night the spirits whispered to me of secrets. It was late when the spirits called to me; they beckoned me out onto the ship’s deck. It was there that I witnessed a silent snowfall. Snow is almost unheard of within the sea, but there it was before me, glistening as it fell in the moonlight. By day break the snow had faded and my companions doubted that it had truly snowed and that I had simply had a vision, what Matus calls, “one of my trippy experiences.” He so often associates my abilities and rituals with something crude and perverse. True I did consider the event to be spiritual and I will not deny that I took refuge with a love spirit beneath the snow fall, but I do not doubt the existence of the event itself. Regardless of the details of the experience, I consider the event to be one of the most serene moments of my life. Even now I long to return to the wooden floor boards of the ship and watch in silence as a layer of white covers the jade. 

 

The long Forgotten Journal 09/28/2010

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By the gods I’d utterly forgotten about this thing….

With the war between the White Mantle and The Shinning Blades, now resolved as I’ve heard, looming over their heads my friends Melantha and Matus decided to visit Cantha. Neither Mel nor Matty, as I sometimes call them affectionately despite Matus’ distaste for it, are political and in truth both they and I can see the apparent evil of both sides. Both, the now former, White Mantle and the Shining Blades simply desired positions of power and their means at getting said power were nothing less than bloody. The Shining Blades were the victors but still they will continue to rise in power, becoming more corrupt as time goes on. But children will play with and fight over their toy siege turtles, and I’ve gone somewhat off topic. 

Anyway Matus and Mel decided to say the hell with all of this and come spend time with me in Cantha. (True Matty is from Cantha, he even trained at the Shing Jea Monastery around the same time I did, and Melikens is from Elonia but they have a homestead in Kryta where they often lay their heads.) They stayed with me in the monastery for the first few weeks, Mel even coming and sitting in on some of my classes, but I decided I needed a break from my horrific... er.. loving students so we decided to take a long put off exploration of the Jade Sea. I of course forgot all about this journal and did not take it with me, which would explain why it has been many moons since I last wrote within its pages. Moonstone would be so disappointed…

I think I shall write about the Jade sea another time however, as I can hear the dinner gong even now. 

 

My First Entry... 05/11/2010

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 I’ve decided to start keeping a journal or diary or what have you. I’ve never really had much desire to narrate my life in such a way but my friend and fellow ritualist, Moonstone , insisted that I give it a try. Honestly I feel a little old to just now start writing about my life. And how should I even go about it? Should I write each day about the various events that took place, or should I just write whatever pops into my head at the time? I feel if I did that this diary would end up being more about fiction than actual fact. Well despite the many protests I have against it obviously, as I have previously written, I’ve decided to give it a go. I just can’t resist the urge to discover or partake in something new or foreign.

I suppose it is always the curiosity that gets me. I was often told, by my master, that it would lead to the death of me. Well perhaps it will but so far I’ve survived the sticky situations I often end up in. Some friends have described me as a “willing to try anything once” kind of person. And this is mostly true; I do have my limits but I have participated in a number of taboo rituals as well as a handful of religious practices of other species. But I can’t see why anyone would pass up the chance to learn about a new culture. The idea has always fascinated me personally. 

Well now I’m rambling but I guess since it is my diary I am allowed to ramble aren’t I? I’m thinking I might ask some of my students to write diaries as well. But then again they might just whine and complain… but perhaps it will help them discover something about themselves they never realized before. (That was the argument that Moony used to sway me over anyway.)

Well I had intended to write more but I can hear the bell signaling that it is already well past the time I should have entered the embrace of the nightly spirits. Not that it really matters if I write long or short entries in here I suppose. After all it is, again, my own book to fill.